Chella Man ( @chellaman ) Instagram Profile

chellaman

Chella Man

DEAF. ARTIST. TRANS. 20. GENDERQUEER.HE/HIM.
@chellamanart

  • 1.1k posts
  • 306.7k followers
  • 261 following

Chella Man Profile Information

  • Sharing my simple rules at 20 years old:

Understanding and making peace with who you are, not who others believe you to be.

Acknowledging that happiness cannot be traveled to, scheduled, or traded.

Feeling gratitude for all that you have while accepting / letting go of the rest.

I wish every day for our world to become more empathetic.
  • Sharing my simple rules at 20 years old:

    Understanding and making peace with who you are, not who others believe you to be.

    Acknowledging that happiness cannot be traveled to, scheduled, or traded.

    Feeling gratitude for all that you have while accepting / letting go of the rest.

    I wish every day for our world to become more empathetic.
  •  46,842  138  17 hours ago
  • How did you know you were transgender/non binary?

I’ve always known; I simply lacked the language to explain how I felt.

I can recall my earliest memory: At age five, I stormed up the stairs of my house in Central Pennsylvania, fuming because my mom wouldn’t allow me to get a “boy’s” haircut.

Through the window, the sun projected my shadow in front of me, outlining my long hair.

The figure I saw was not who I wanted to be, and this shattered me.

This is my first memory of gender dysphoria.

A few days later, my parents were out and a babysitter was watching me. I took this opportunity to snatch a pair of scissors and excuse myself to the bathroom. I cut my hair into the toilet and sink, then flushed it all down, thinking my parents would never notice.

Of course, anyone could tell I cut my hair by taking one look at me.
My mom was furious at first, but quickly realized how much this change of appearance meant to me when I showed no regret or guilt for what I had done.

Cloaking myself in society’s infamous ideologies of what it means to be a boy, I performed: MASCULINITY.

Soon, there came a point in my life when I wished for this performance to become my reality.
This realization frightened me, as I had no idea what steps I needed to take to get there. It became impossible to look in the mirror and see anything other than a show I could not stop.
I did not want to perform; I wanted to be.

But when puberty hit, the curtains closed and my act was up. I didn’t even have time to take a bow.
It seemed as though there was no other choice than to walk off stage and live life as a cisgender girl.

I was lost. I had no words to explain that my appearance did not align with my inherent identity.

It took me eighteen years to discover the language and terminology of identifying genderqueer/non-binary.

And I knew, there was a community waiting for me behind that definition.

So, how did I know I was trans?
I have always known.

Full essay linked on my story.

Support a non-binary artist and cop the mesh top pictured above at the link in my bio!

Happy International Non-Binary Day, loves.
  • How did you know you were transgender/non binary?

    I’ve always known; I simply lacked the language to explain how I felt.

    I can recall my earliest memory: At age five, I stormed up the stairs of my house in Central Pennsylvania, fuming because my mom wouldn’t allow me to get a “boy’s” haircut.

    Through the window, the sun projected my shadow in front of me, outlining my long hair.

    The figure I saw was not who I wanted to be, and this shattered me.

    This is my first memory of gender dysphoria.

    A few days later, my parents were out and a babysitter was watching me. I took this opportunity to snatch a pair of scissors and excuse myself to the bathroom. I cut my hair into the toilet and sink, then flushed it all down, thinking my parents would never notice.

    Of course, anyone could tell I cut my hair by taking one look at me.
    My mom was furious at first, but quickly realized how much this change of appearance meant to me when I showed no regret or guilt for what I had done.

    Cloaking myself in society’s infamous ideologies of what it means to be a boy, I performed: MASCULINITY.

    Soon, there came a point in my life when I wished for this performance to become my reality.
    This realization frightened me, as I had no idea what steps I needed to take to get there. It became impossible to look in the mirror and see anything other than a show I could not stop.
    I did not want to perform; I wanted to be.

    But when puberty hit, the curtains closed and my act was up. I didn’t even have time to take a bow.
    It seemed as though there was no other choice than to walk off stage and live life as a cisgender girl.

    I was lost. I had no words to explain that my appearance did not align with my inherent identity.

    It took me eighteen years to discover the language and terminology of identifying genderqueer/non-binary.

    And I knew, there was a community waiting for me behind that definition.

    So, how did I know I was trans?
    I have always known.

    Full essay linked on my story.

    Support a non-binary artist and cop the mesh top pictured above at the link in my bio!

    Happy International Non-Binary Day, loves.
  •  47,454  189  15 July, 2019
  • Valuing my mental health will always be a perpetual battle as our culture rarely sets it as an equivalent to physical health.

Teaching myself:

Relaxing CAN be productive.

Slowing down, checking inner emotions, and allow myself to breathe is essential to maintain the fast-paced lifestyle that is now my reality.

Although many successful people rep the mantra: No Days Off!

I believe it is a privilege and right to occasionally take a few days off to prioritize and maintain health and sanity!
  • Valuing my mental health will always be a perpetual battle as our culture rarely sets it as an equivalent to physical health.

    Teaching myself:

    Relaxing CAN be productive.

    Slowing down, checking inner emotions, and allow myself to breathe is essential to maintain the fast-paced lifestyle that is now my reality.

    Although many successful people rep the mantra: No Days Off!

    I believe it is a privilege and right to occasionally take a few days off to prioritize and maintain health and sanity!
  •  25,884  47  12 July, 2019
  • hi, angels

here to remind you:

You work on your own frequency & there is NOT an age you are supposed to have everything figured out.

We are all perpetually figuring ourselves out as best we can.

All I ask is that you try your best and do not give up.

Enjoy the moments you find yourself genuinely smiling.

If you have found what makes you happy (even for a few seconds)... give as much time as you can to that.

For most of us, we must create our own space.

It will not be given to you.

Consider this a reminder to fight for the good person you feel inside.

You can become them.

All my love, as always.

I am rooting for you.

_

Photo by my love, @maryvbenoit, at a moment in which I felt my dreams shift into reality.
  • hi, angels

    here to remind you:

    You work on your own frequency & there is NOT an age you are supposed to have everything figured out.

    We are all perpetually figuring ourselves out as best we can.

    All I ask is that you try your best and do not give up.

    Enjoy the moments you find yourself genuinely smiling.

    If you have found what makes you happy (even for a few seconds)... give as much time as you can to that.

    For most of us, we must create our own space.

    It will not be given to you.

    Consider this a reminder to fight for the good person you feel inside.

    You can become them.

    All my love, as always.

    I am rooting for you.

    _

    Photo by my love, @maryvbenoit, at a moment in which I felt my dreams shift into reality.
  •  38,170  179  9 July, 2019
  • PSA:

Discovering the genitals of your baby does not grant you the knowlege of what gender they will claim.

Before even taking their first breath, binary labeling enforces them to conform to gender roles.

Please, keep an open mind on who your child may grow up to be. ❤️
  • PSA:

    Discovering the genitals of your baby does not grant you the knowlege of what gender they will claim.

    Before even taking their first breath, binary labeling enforces them to conform to gender roles.

    Please, keep an open mind on who your child may grow up to be. ❤️
  •  29,245  163  5 July, 2019
  • Lights out, climb into bed.

My cochlear implants are off.

I see nothing; I hear nothing.

MaryV wraps her arms around me while my hand finds hers.

I feel her fingers twist into a sign.

Pinky up. Middle and ring down.
Index up. Thumb out.

It's how we say, I love you, in the dark.

_

This is a film photo I shot of MaryV when she came to visit me in Toronto.

I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I wanted to capture her genuine smile.

Mission accomplished.
  • Lights out, climb into bed.

    My cochlear implants are off.

    I see nothing; I hear nothing.

    MaryV wraps her arms around me while my hand finds hers.

    I feel her fingers twist into a sign.

    Pinky up. Middle and ring down.
    Index up. Thumb out.

    It's how we say, I love you, in the dark.

    _

    This is a film photo I shot of MaryV when she came to visit me in Toronto.

    I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I wanted to capture her genuine smile.

    Mission accomplished.
  •  55,711  267  2 July, 2019
  • The battle continues with each new day.

Each one of us must acknowledge the space we are given and use it mindfully.

From giving up that space to others who deserve it more to adding your voice to the mass on matters hurting others within your own community.

Black, brown, disabled, trans individuals (including those who do not want to medically transition) have always been at the frontlines of the fight for equality.

If you have not already, please, take a moment to acknowledge this.

Today, in my heart, I held those who:

felt too unsafe to celebrate

were unable to participate due to inaccessibility

are not publicly/safely out

Remember, you do not have to be AT pride to have pride.

Angels, I know you all are fighting hard.

Keep making waves and know my heart is with you.

_

The signs MaryV and I held are (clearly) not our own.

They were a part of @adameli & @voices4_ idea to march for those who cannot.

Adam put out a call, asking those who do not feel safe enough to celebrate Pride in their own country to write down what their sign would read.

Today, we held their signs high and marched for them.
  • The battle continues with each new day.

    Each one of us must acknowledge the space we are given and use it mindfully.

    From giving up that space to others who deserve it more to adding your voice to the mass on matters hurting others within your own community.

    Black, brown, disabled, trans individuals (including those who do not want to medically transition) have always been at the frontlines of the fight for equality.

    If you have not already, please, take a moment to acknowledge this.

    Today, in my heart, I held those who:

    felt too unsafe to celebrate

    were unable to participate due to inaccessibility

    are not publicly/safely out

    Remember, you do not have to be AT pride to have pride.

    Angels, I know you all are fighting hard.

    Keep making waves and know my heart is with you.

    _

    The signs MaryV and I held are (clearly) not our own.

    They were a part of @adameli & @voices4_ idea to march for those who cannot.

    Adam put out a call, asking those who do not feel safe enough to celebrate Pride in their own country to write down what their sign would read.

    Today, we held their signs high and marched for them.
  •  45,227  132  1 July, 2019
  • From one day, one year, to now:

TWO YEARS ON TESTOSTERONE.

My recent life has been the most honest.

I took a wrecking ball to the walls I built for eighteen years around my true identity.

Sharing my soul with the world, unapologetically, was never easy.

The fuel stemmed from the idea of becoming a physical embodiment of my true self.

This truth was enough to put everything on the line.

I had no idea what to expect once beginning the process or what I would look like upon starting testosterone.

But, here I am. 
I am him.

It seems words will never suffice my gratitude for this opportunity and privilege, so I turn to the perpetual fight of equality and continue to be mindful of the pain I used to live in.

Without my personal memories of extreme dysphoria and depression, I would not be my best self.

I will never stop fighting until we are all free.

Thank you to all who have fought for queer rights, now and in the past, as you have allowed me to live this life.

Thank you MaryV (@maryvbenoit) for consistently reminding me; I am worthy of love in this world and taking every single one of these photos.

Thank you to my family for listening to me, verbally or through sign language.

Thank you to all of you who have sent your hearts to me, wherever you may be.

Please know, your messages of support and encouragement are taken in, not just by me, but countless others who need to see the love, acceptance, and support.

This world is changing.
To be continued.
  • From one day, one year, to now:

    TWO YEARS ON TESTOSTERONE.

    My recent life has been the most honest.

    I took a wrecking ball to the walls I built for eighteen years around my true identity.

    Sharing my soul with the world, unapologetically, was never easy.

    The fuel stemmed from the idea of becoming a physical embodiment of my true self.

    This truth was enough to put everything on the line.

    I had no idea what to expect once beginning the process or what I would look like upon starting testosterone.

    But, here I am.
    I am him.

    It seems words will never suffice my gratitude for this opportunity and privilege, so I turn to the perpetual fight of equality and continue to be mindful of the pain I used to live in.

    Without my personal memories of extreme dysphoria and depression, I would not be my best self.

    I will never stop fighting until we are all free.

    Thank you to all who have fought for queer rights, now and in the past, as you have allowed me to live this life.

    Thank you MaryV (@maryvbenoit) for consistently reminding me; I am worthy of love in this world and taking every single one of these photos.

    Thank you to my family for listening to me, verbally or through sign language.

    Thank you to all of you who have sent your hearts to me, wherever you may be.

    Please know, your messages of support and encouragement are taken in, not just by me, but countless others who need to see the love, acceptance, and support.

    This world is changing.
    To be continued.
  •  85,593  621  29 June, 2019
  • truly happy

woke up next to her this morning

danced with her in my arms this afternoon
  • truly happy

    woke up next to her this morning

    danced with her in my arms this afternoon
  •  62,878  233  29 June, 2019
  • Filming the Titans has been hilarious, terrifying, gut-wrenching, and satisfying so far.

I already feel as if I have lived many lifetimes, and Jericho (my character) is adding another to the line.

I cannot wait for you all to see sign language authentically represented on the Titans as individuals with disabilities have long been misrepresented/underrepresented.

I hope to make you all proud!

Ps: those are my clothes, not Jericho’s ;)
  • Filming the Titans has been hilarious, terrifying, gut-wrenching, and satisfying so far.

    I already feel as if I have lived many lifetimes, and Jericho (my character) is adding another to the line.

    I cannot wait for you all to see sign language authentically represented on the Titans as individuals with disabilities have long been misrepresented/underrepresented.

    I hope to make you all proud!

    Ps: those are my clothes, not Jericho’s ;)
  •  32,350  186  27 June, 2019
  • It isn’t the easiest to face photos from my past.

However, I believe it‘s imperative for me to show the in-between.

The dark, dysphoric stages of transitioning exist and should not be ignored; they are just as imperative to showcase as the ones filled with joy.

All stages have something to teach.

I am trying to learn from each one in order to pass on what I have learned.

I now am able to say:

I am him.

Happy Pride, my loves!
Always keep your head held high, always.
  • It isn’t the easiest to face photos from my past.

    However, I believe it‘s imperative for me to show the in-between.

    The dark, dysphoric stages of transitioning exist and should not be ignored; they are just as imperative to showcase as the ones filled with joy.

    All stages have something to teach.

    I am trying to learn from each one in order to pass on what I have learned.

    I now am able to say:

    I am him.

    Happy Pride, my loves!
    Always keep your head held high, always.
  •  59,326  300  23 June, 2019
  • It has been about 1.5 years of consistently working out now since my top surgery- 2nd photo!

I want to make clear:

Both types of builds I have shared are beautiful!

I personally connect more to my body with a bigger build; it helps alleviate my body dysphoria to work out!

As always, I will continue to remind myself to never take my body/life for granted.

Also, I have noticed a lot of media referring to me as a trans man.

To clarify, I identify non-binary or genderqueer.

I still use he/him pronouns.

I still present masculine.

If this doesn’t add up for you, check out my captioned TedX Talk linked in my story!

I’ll give you the rundown on my gender identity! 🤟🏼
  • It has been about 1.5 years of consistently working out now since my top surgery- 2nd photo!

    I want to make clear:

    Both types of builds I have shared are beautiful!

    I personally connect more to my body with a bigger build; it helps alleviate my body dysphoria to work out!

    As always, I will continue to remind myself to never take my body/life for granted.

    Also, I have noticed a lot of media referring to me as a trans man.

    To clarify, I identify non-binary or genderqueer.

    I still use he/him pronouns.

    I still present masculine.

    If this doesn’t add up for you, check out my captioned TedX Talk linked in my story!

    I’ll give you the rundown on my gender identity! 🤟🏼
  •  88,047  1,029  19 June, 2019